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How to Establish New Patterns When Loving Others Has Left you Hurting
Have you heard of Rigid Boundaries before? This is a style that feels like a wall, serving to keep people out. People with rigid boundaries avoid intimacy or closeness. They are very closed off and lack vulnerability. They fear rejection and aren’t clear on their values or needs, so it’s often just easier to keep others at a distance. They feel protective, but ultimately only limit us long term. Our hearts yearn for community and safe people, and with rigid boundaries, those become impossible to find or maintain.
– Isolation: Maintaining distance to an extent that hinders meaningful personal, professional, or intimate connections. Isolation may feel safe if you have been hurt in the past, but it isn’t sustainable.
– Fear of Vulnerability: Being unwilling to open up due to a fear of being hurt or exposed. This leads to surface level friendships with shallow roots.
– Stagnant Personal Growth: Rigid boundaries can impede personal growth, as individuals may resist new experiences or perspectives that challenge their established beliefs and comfort zones.
A lot of women that I have coached over the years have struggled with rigid boundary styles, especially when trust is lacking due to past hurts. Breaking down these barriers requires embracing vulnerability and building trust. Striking a balance between self-protection and openness allows for genuine connections and the sense of belonging our hearts crave. Both rigid and porous boundaries can foster resentment over time, but unlike porous boundaries, those with rigid styles can start healing by saying ‘yes’ more often. Open up gradually when it feels safe, seek support, accept help from others, and set realistic expectations, because this work doesn’t happen overnight. If you need more support, know that I am here, as well as the courses you can find inside Discover Your Worth!
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