I get comments all the time saying:
“She’s so controlling and hurtful but she’s sick and dying so I have to do X.”
“He is struggling with an addiction but he is my brother…”
“She’s going through a divorce so I guess it’s okay she’s acting this way.”
“He takes out his depression on me.”
Please hear me when I tell you— boundary work is love work. It isn’t cruel or selfish or unkind. It reminds others where you end and they begin. It creates clarity on what is yours and what isn’t.
These instances aren’t an excuse for a relationship lacking boundaries. When you set limits, it is then you can show up to “help” others who are hurting as your most authentic, energized, honest self. People don’t need you to lose yourself. Others need you to stay whole. This is how we extend love. 🤍