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How to Establish New Patterns When Loving Others Has Left you Hurting
I want you to know what a radical act of self-care it is to learn to take your life back with healthy boundaries and limits. Do you know what a big deal that is? Maybe you have walked this path and know exactly how much it has changed your life. Maybe you are just starting and are dealing with backlash and a lack of support, and it feels harder some days than easier. Maybe you know that you are crumbling, that the end of yourself is nearer each day and have not started out of fear but don’t know if you have many other options left.
Being healed isn’t something that is attainable; you are healing. Healing is learning, changing, reviving, believing, and is a lifelong process. If you haven’t started, I know that may not sound appealing. Why start something that can never be completed? You don’t heal to find perfection; you heal because you deserve so, so much more. Even those who are years into healing and boundary work will need a reminder in hard times, so here are some affirmations for you to come back to as often as you need them:
- “I am deserving of respect, and I have the right to set boundaries that honor my well-being.”
- “My boundaries are a reflection of my self-worth, and I value myself enough to enforce them.”
- “I release the guilt associated with saying ‘no’ when I need to.”
- “I love myself enough to recognize my own needs, and no longer ignore them to meet the needs of others.”
- “I trust my instincts and emotions when assessing a situation/relationship and making changes that honor my self-worth.”
- “I am not responsible for the emotions or reactions of others when I enforce my boundaries. I can control my boundary, or I can control their reaction. I cannot control both.”
- “I am allowed to change my mind and adjust my boundaries as I grow and evolve.”
- “I choose relationships and environments that respect and support my limits.”
- “Boundaries create space for my personal growth, and they exist to make me able to love even better than before, they are not selfish.”
- “I release the need to explain or justify my boundaries; they are valid simply because they are mine.”
- “I embrace the power of ‘no’ as a complete sentence when necessary for others in my life, and no longer internalize it or wonder if they are upset with me.”
- “I am in control of my time, energy, and resources, and I allocate them according to my/my families priorities. I no longer try to meet or control the priorities of others.”
- “I release the fear of disappointing others when I share my thoughts and feelings. I am committed to kindness in my communication, but that does not mean it will be received that way. I am confident in my delivery.”
- “Setting boundaries allows me to live authentically and align with my true self. I am not settling for those who never loved my true self, and am creating a beautiful community that does.”
- “I am becoming a master of balance, knowing when to give and when to protect my boundaries. I know it’s a dance, and I will not use boundaries as a weapon.”
- “My boundaries are a source of strength, not weakness.”
- “I surround myself with people who respect and appreciate my boundaries, and I am attuned to and respect theirs as well.”
- “I honor the wisdom, and only respond when I feel like it is appropriate to do so. Not responding right away no longer makes me uncomfortable.”
- “I am resilient, and I can handle any challenges that may arise from enforcing my boundaries.”
- “Every day, I am growing more confident in setting and maintaining healthy boundaries. I see the fruit, even on the hard days.”
I need these reminders all the time. Why? Because not everyone you meet in life has done the work already! Your new boss, a new friend from church, a new neighbor? They can come into your life at any point, and you may be put back into a position of speaking or enforcing a limit!
I no longer wish to be healed. Being healed would simply hide all of the growth that I worked so hard for. Instead, I want healing skin. Skin that feels and deals and shows every ounce of wisdom I have learned along the way. To those who are healing with me, we can stay the course.
Courses on Boundaries, Heal from Codependency, Stewardship, and Rising Daughters are all available immediately for access to every active DYW member. Not only do you receive the self-paced video courses, but you get access to a monthly masterclass (including all the previous ones), bonus content, and email support with me.
Don’t wait… Join us today!
Now is the time to Discover Your Worth.