Often we seek comfort + security in places or with people that aren’t actually safe or good for us. We get caught up in situations and ask, “how did I get here?”
What’s tricky about early conditioning is that you will always return to what’s familiar + comfortable. Often, that is your early childhood relationships + experiences.
It’s important then to stay curious.
Was my childhood actually safe?
Did I feel seen? Heard?
Was I given affection?
How were the boundaries?
What did the communication look like?
What about conflict resolution?
Did we play?
Was there consistency?
When you answer these questions, you’ll have a better understanding of the power of conditioning and it’s unconscious influence in your life today.
If you remember arguing, chaos, or not feeling safe or seen, then drama/chaos + playing small may feel comfortable for you. If you never were sure about your place in the world as a child, you may seek out relationships that are anxiously driven + insecure.
If you were burdened with the load of responsibility of caring for your parents + siblings as a child, then filling the “caretaker” role in friendships probably comes naturally to you, albeit the resentment that builds.
Part of this work is doing a bit of inventory. When we become aware, we can better show up as our authentic selves, make safer decisions, and create a life that is filled with peace + freedom. ✨
What does “home” remind you of?
How can you challenge it + better use that information for who you are (un)becoming?
