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Courtney J. Burg

Courtney J. Burg

writer, speaker, and teacher

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Challenge why

Courtney J. Burg, Writer + Mentor
December 3, 2020


challenge-why.jpg

Often we seek comfort + security in places or with people that aren’t actually safe or good for us. We get caught up in situations and ask, “how did I get here?” ⁠
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What’s tricky about early conditioning is that you will always return to what’s familiar + comfortable. Often, that is your early childhood relationships + experiences. ⁠
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It’s important then to stay curious. ⁠
Was my childhood actually safe?⁠
Did I feel seen? Heard? ⁠
Was I given affection? ⁠
How were the boundaries?⁠
What did the communication look like? ⁠
What about conflict resolution? ⁠
Did we play? ⁠
Was there consistency?⁠
When you answer these questions, you’ll have a better understanding of the power of conditioning and it’s unconscious influence in your life today.⁠
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If you remember arguing, chaos, or not feeling safe or seen, then drama/chaos + playing small may feel comfortable for you. If you never were sure about your place in the world as a child, you may seek out relationships that are anxiously driven + insecure. ⁠
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If you were burdened with the load of responsibility of caring for your parents + siblings as a child, then filling the “caretaker” role in friendships probably comes naturally to you, albeit the resentment that builds. ⁠
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Part of this work is doing a bit of inventory. When we become aware, we can better show up as our authentic selves, make safer decisions, and create a life that is filled with peace + freedom. ✨⁠
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What does “home” remind you of? ⁠
How can you challenge it + better use that information for who you are (un)becoming?

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About the Author

Courtney J. Burg

Mama of four. Writer. Saved by Jesus, boundaries + dry shampoo. ✨ Reminding women of their worth.

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