If you are, take note on these few tips.
Know your core values. Many people find themselves defending and advocating for beliefs and values that don’t align with their own truths. Here is how confusion, discontentment and bitterness takes root. Knowing your core values will ensure you are guarding what matters most to YOU.
Next, be clear and kind with how you guard those values. I can usually tell when someone is new to boundary work simply by observing their delivery of a boundary. Do you yell? Do you defend your limits harshly? Or do you shut down when you don’t feel heard or respected? These are all indicators that you lack some confidence, but don’t beat yourself up, confidence comes through practice!
Which leads me to my next point, don’t wait for perfect conditions. If you wait until you are confident to set a boundary, you never will. You can’t wait until they are healthy, until they get that new job, until their divorce is finalized. Often, uncertain conditions make certain boundaries necessary. Don’t shy away. Boundaries are how you love yourself and others well though times of hardship.
and finally, expect unpleasant backlash- this isn’t yours to manage, and does not mean your boundary is wrong! Setting and maintaining boundaries within your relationships is like learning a new language. One that is mastered over time and not without imperfections. Be patient with yourself and others. Don’t expect the process to be seamless or linear.
As always, I am here to root you on! Stay encouraged and reach out if you need any more support.
