I remember having my first panic attack. I was maybe 8 or 9 and it was in the hallway of my childhood home. I got so dizzy and couldn’t breathe. I passed out onto the carpet and had no idea what happened or why.
My anxiety increased into High School. I developed a severe case of perfectionism and people pleasing. Achievement was my identity. I looked for and often found my approval in accomplishing everything I could. I was varsity soccer captain, President of my Class, and an honor role student. I volunteered at church, and made sure I was liked by everyone. I absorbed the pain of my own and those around me, holding a smile on my face at all times. My self doubts were huge, and depression sank in. I didn’t know how to deal with these feelings of void, and felt I had no one to talk to. So I worked harder (as I always did) to hide and numb them. This is where drugs and alcohol were introduced in my story.
I had dropped out of college, and without athletics or academics as an anchor, I felt lost. For the next ten plus years I would battle addictions. I would constrict food and workout too much. I would then become paralyzed from guilt and shame, finding solace on my couch with a bottle of wine and junk food. I would serial date, spend money I didn’t have, and create chaos just for the high. At one point I had gotten so lethargic, I really believed my hormone levels were to blame. I went to the doctor’s for a full panel of blood work, only to learn I was “extremely healthy.”
Shingles began to break out on my limbs. Every few weeks, painful blisters would appear on my thigh or forearm. They would hurt so badly, I could barely walk. I went to the doctor and they said they rarely saw cases in individuals as young as me. They couldn’t help me or administer a vaccine, as I wasn’t over fifty.
My back started to hurt. My panic attacks and anxiety had gotten so bad, I needed alcohol every night to sleep. To cure hangovers I started to day drink. I couldn’t be with my self. I was so scared of my thoughts, I had excruciating migraines, I never understood my mood swings, and felt entirely B R O K E N.
So how did I get from there ^^^ to today? Well, a lot of work and grace. I went to treatment for alcohol. There, I had started the work to untangle the web of emotions I felt inside. I began to look at my childhood. I started discovering and collecting tools to use for healing. Tools like sober support, therapy, yoga, meditation/prayer, journaling, breathwork, inner child work, and boundaries.
I have been sober for five years, and haven’t had a shingles outbreak since I began this journey. I sleep so much better (when my two toddlers allow!) and almost never have back pain or headaches. I occasionally still struggle with anxiety, but I know where to return to for grounding. I work out because I enjoy it, and eat healthy because it is now a form of self care.
I am honest about my journey, as I never want to forget that girl. She is a huge part of who I am, and I cherish all that she has taught me. Today, I can love, protect and nurture her the way she needs. I can listen, without judgement, whenever she wants to open up. I no longer run from myself. I truly love who I have been and who I am becoming.
I now believe my emotional wounds manifested into physical symptoms. It’s as if my body was trying to send me a message. It took me years to acknowledge this truth.
So there you have it. A bit of a back story for why I am so passionate about this healing journey. The work is so incredibly valuable, and freedom is possible. I know this, because I have lived it.
Thank you for holding space for me to share this with you.

Courses on Boundaries, Heal from Codependency, Stewardship, and Rising Daughters are all available immediately for access to every active DYW member. Not only do you receive the self-paced video courses, but you get access to a monthly masterclass (including all the previous ones), bonus content, and email support with me.
Don’t wait… Join us today!
Now is the time to Discover Your Worth.