What is oversharing? Simply put, it is sharing too much to the wrong person at the wrong time. It’s a common behavior that you likely engage in without even knowing it! This could be sharing personal information with internet strangers all the way to revealing intimate details of your life (or even sharing the details of other people’s lives/gossiping) with acquaintances you want to earn the companionship of.
What are other ways we see oversharing manifest in our lives?
- Sharing too much on social media
- Revealing very personal details to coworkers
- Talking about information you learned about someone to someone else
- Continuing to talk about a topic even if it’s clear that the other person is uncomfortable or disinterested
- Sharing every detail behind our “no”
That last one is difficult for everyone! You share all of the reasons behind your decision so that the other person will understand your “no,” when in reality, it ends up making the waters even muddier.
So… why do people do this? Maybe they witnessed this growing up and now feel the need to do this in order to connect with others. Maybe they are seeking validation from others about a choice that belongs between them and a significant other. Maybe they are lacking separateness, causing them to share details to earn love, or maybe that person expects them to share those details, and they simply have not challenged that idea.
While in the moment, this may feel good, it is important to know that the feeling is fleeting. Oversharing, especially to the wrong people, can lead to coveted details of your life being turned or used against you later. It can lead to shame and embarrassment, feeling violated by others, or even damaging relationships.
By setting clear boundaries and being selective about the information you reveal, you can build healthier relationships.
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