I’ve got some bad news… the silent treatment is not the same as setting a healthy boundary. Most of the time, the silent treatment is either a defensive mechanism or a weapon used for revenge.
Think about your childhood. What did your parents do when faced with conflict? Maybe one of them withdrew for days, refusing to acknowledge it. For others, they knew their parent was upset with them because of the painful silence that existed.
If your parent was similar to the first example, you likely learned that saying nothing meant keeping the peace. You now choose to say nothing in conflict, remaining silent for the sake of peace, and instead, you would rather lose yourself than ever risk losing the other person. Silence is a defense that you use, but never actually leaves you feeling safe or satisfied.
If your parent was similar to the second example, you likely learned that giving the silent treatment or acting passive-aggressively, rather than approaching conflicts head-on, gets you the behavior you desire. In those instances, you probably felt scared of your parent, wondering what they were mad about and what you did wrong. So, what did you do? You behaved ten times better to try to get them to start talking again and that probably worked. They scared you into compliance and you may be doing the same in your relationships now.
The good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way. We repeat what we don’t repair, but when we know better, we do better! Kind and clear communication is possible. This is exactly what we unpack in my membership, so take a peek below and check it out!
Courses on Boundaries, Heal from Codependency, Stewardship, and Rising Daughters are all available immediately for access to every active DYW member. Not only do you receive the self-paced video courses, but you get access to a monthly masterclass (including all the previous ones), bonus content, and email support with me.
Don’t wait… Join us today!
Now is the time to Discover Your Worth.
