If you want to find more energy, check your boundaries. If you want to find more happiness, check your boundaries. If you want to find more motivation, check your boundaries. If you want to improve your self esteem or your relationships or your habits, CHECK YOUR BOUNDARIES.
It’s easy to blame others for your exhaustion and unhappiness. It’s easy to claim “I’m an empath!” and run yourself into the ground trying to fix and save everyone. It’s easy to listen to that voice that says you aren’t enough, the one that reminds you often of your lacks, the one that nudges you to run yourself ragged so that you stay busy enough to feel productive, appear accomplished, barely keeping your head above water… and at the end of the day you only feel depleted, irritated and more confused.
It’s hard to stop. To learn boundary work. To kindly and clearly ask for what you need, and give yourself the same. It’s hard to put down old roles that no longer serve you or your relationships or the direction you want to go.
The longer I teach and study this boundary work, the more confirmation I receive that it is at the core of our dissatisfaction… within ourselves, our careers, our relationships.
One of the first things I ask people is “how did your caregiver manage their boundaries?” This is the key to understanding your own.
Were they non existent? Enmeshed? Respected?