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Courtney J. Burg

Courtney J. Burg

writer, speaker, and teacher

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Resistance to pain is also resistance to pleasure

Courtney J. Burg, Writer + Mentor
January 14, 2021


resistance-to-pain-resistance-to-pleasure.jpg

I spent years running from myself. Any discomfort I would numb. Not just with drugs + alcohol, but with chaos, men, shopping, distractions + taking care of others. I hated slowing down, I hated being alone, and I hated the idea of being unhappy. ⁠
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I really believed numbing helped me live a more joyous, free life. What I didn’t realize then was that numbing is like an antibiotic. It kills off the bad AND the good. ⁠
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I’m almost 7 years sober + no longer run from discomfort. However, I am still learning to let the happiness + joy in. I struggle with feelings of withdrawal, nothingness, or neutrality to this day. ⁠
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From the outside it may come across as calm + peace. But inside, it can feel hollow. I don’t like it. It’s another form of self protection that really extinguishes out the deep experience of living this life. It’s a hard habit to break. I’m a work in progress, just like you. ⁠
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I remind myself often that I am safe + able now to feel happiness + belonging. To feel proud + joy filled. To feel grateful + excited even. ⁠
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I don’t have to role play disaster or loss. I don’t have to cling to chaos and destruction. I can face life, on life’s terms, without the pendulum swinging from one end to the other. I can find my center, my gray, my peace. ⁠
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Can you relate?

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About the Author

Courtney J. Burg

Mama of four. Writer. Saved by Jesus, boundaries + dry shampoo. ✨ Reminding women of their worth.

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