I pulled out my box of old journals to read through. I’ve been working hard on my book and these details, this girl, they all matter.
When I saw this, I thought of some of you. I felt a sudden urge to tuck this all away. My inner child recoiling… pleading with me to NOT EXPOSE THIS PART OF US. But then I calmly reminded her, we are safe now, this isn’t who we are anymore. We have created something far more beautiful. We have peace. A voice. But she, she will always be apart of the story.
So here it is.
I want you to see it.
It hasn’t always been easy for me, friends. And I wouldn’t change a thing.
I was only 17 when I wrote these words… and I was extremely anxious, lost + depressed. I didn’t know then that it was just the beginning of a long cycle of self abandonment, addiction + abuse. It would take years before I could climb out of the debris I created. I hurt people, because I so badly hurt. I chased men and drugs and escape because it was all I knew. I wanted to be happy, and I looked for it in all the wrong places. Until I learned another way.
If I could, I’d hug that girl right now. I’d tell her, “keep going, it’ll get worse before it gets better, but it will get better. The best is yet to come.”
Whoever needs to be reminded: you are braver than you know. You deserve healing. You are worthy. All the answers + peace are within. Keep going 🤍