I have had zero brain capacity to work on content or be in this space. While my husband + I are finally seeing the light after adding “twins” (one adopted, one bio baby five days apart) to our family 3 months ago, our 3 year old is still feeling the shift. And it’s showing up in BIG BEHAVIORS.
She doesn’t want to brush her teeth. Or take a bath. She doesn’t want to listen at all. Lots of meltdowns + tantrums. It’s exhausting for her + me. 😩
I catch myself judging her. But I remind myself often that she has been on this planet for only 36 months. Now she has to share mommy + daddy with 3 siblings, school is back after a 6 month hiatus, everything in her little world is differenSo I have been chiseling away at our family system. Where can I establish more safety? More connection? More quiet time?
🤍I cut back on tv — wknd watching only. Hard because when everyone is acting up, the first thing I want to do is avoid them + distract them. But it makes it worse. Bought new puzzles to do as a family instead.
🤍Created a family “routine” photo board. I change out the photos each day on a white board + we discuss it over breakfast. Photos include school, pool (wknd) days, if the sitter will be here + any other extra activities. This helps them feel safe, because safety is rooted in predictably.
🤍I also called a wise friend. Often I can’t see the trees from the forest, ya know? When I’m in the thick of it, tired + feeling a bit like we are just surviving… I have to call in back up. Thankfully my dear friend @caleykuklacan lend me an ear, suggestions + is even planning to come observe tomorrow to see what other tweaks I can make to get this train back on its tracks.
🤍I pray. Diving in the Word everyday. Devotion in the am, Bible at night. Lord I need you.
Sometimes kids are just hungry, tired or overwhelmed. Some things children just need to outgrow. But often a subtle change can be made to ensure they feel more safe, heard + seen. Difficult behaviors doesn’t = difficult children. More times than not it is just a communication for unmet needs beneath the surface. Reminding myself of this today over coffee, before they wake.
How are you?
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