Every mom of little ones knows just how difficult meal time can be. This past week I shared a few reels on social media regarding my favorite items that I use in our home (and out to dinner) to help meal times feel less stressful. These items rotate but are all used as a tool to connect so that screens are used less!
It isn’t a bad idea to get your children involved too. They are more likely to participate in something that they have a hand in designing or creating. Share with them the “busy bag” idea (for traveling to dinner’s out of the house) or the “meal time basket” (for meals inside the home). They will likely have a lot of creative input!
As for you mama, set your expectations low. Start with a goal of maybe five minutes around the table together. Use ONE item from your basket to start, and see how it goes! I try to let the Holy Spirit lead. For example, if one evening we are all a bit on each other’s nerves, I will use a conversation card like this one that has silly questions to break the tension in the home. Or, if I was asked earlier in the day about a topic related to scripture, I may have one of the girls look it up while I finish dinner to discuss once we sit down together. It really can be that simple!
Okay, now on to my favorite (most current) items. My children’s ages right now range from 4-8 so keep that in mind. Also as an encouragement while out to dinner, these “busy bags” are not meant to just keep your kids occupied so you can enjoy time on your own phone or with your spouse. Please take the initiative to do it along side them, especially in the beginning. Their favorite “activity” after all is being with you. You will likely notice as the skill is sharpened that they find contentment doing a lot on their own as they wait for their meal, but don’t try to rush towards that as if it is the end goal. Connection is!
Meal time basket (for meals at home):
- Tiny Theologians family devotional
- Viking Quest Series
- Training Hearts, Teaching Minds devotional
- Bible Made Easy- For Kids
I am always sure to have construction paper on hand, index cards/sticky notes, colored pencils, stickers, a little flashlight (because why not?), and whatever else I may need to keep the little ones occupied while we may be discussing topics out of their communication skillset. But let me assure you, the little ones are picking up a ton! I can confidently say that all four of my kids are able to hold a conversation around the dinner table including “so how was your day?” or “tell me a high point and a low point.” We even do a fun ad lib story time taking turns around the table adding a random sentence that keeps us all entertained. Be open to the possibilities for your family to create a special connection around meals!
Busy bag (for meals out):
My older two are able to independently pack their own bag when we head out to a restaurant. For my littles, I just toss a few of these items with some crayons and paper in a tote bag and out the door we go! It has been such a huge help in making meal time less stressful. Having dinner out in an awesome opportunity to make eye contact with servers to order independently, or to chat with others families sitting near by. It is also a great excercise at delayed gratification. It takes patience to wait for a meal, and putting in the “reps” to learn how to engage in conversation maturely. Let’s commit to helping our children hone in on this skill!
Remember, when you get discouraged around meal time, shoot for consistency, not perfection. It will take time for your children to get on board (especially if they are used to watching a show or playing on an iPad during meals). Expect that they may give you some push back. But, you are there to build out habits that will benefit your entire family, which will take time. Your job isn’t to keep them happy for the short term, it is to establish character traits that will serve them for a lifetime.