I remember when two people I cared deeply for, both told me “no” within a short few months. They shared they loved me, and since they did, they wouldn’t put up with my BS anymore. I was floored. Angry. Hurt. How could they not have my back?
Later, I would enter rehab. I had hit my bottom. And as the veil was removed from my eyes, the disdain I once carried for them, turned to gratitude. I was so thankful that they would no longer justify, lie, or hide my behavior. It was in part because of their courage to stand up to me, that I found freedom.
Love doesn’t “yes” you to death. It doesn’t wrap things in pretty bows. It doesn’t sugar coat the truth or avoid reality. It doesn’t tip toe around all the messy-ness. It is raw, authentic and sometimes… it even walks away.
I believe love can change people. But not the kind of love we are sold in society. And not unless the people we love are ready to change. You can’t take someone where they aren’t willing to take themselves.
Watching someone you care about experience the consequences of their own behavior is a radical act of love, for them and you.