There are different kinds of boundaries. The main ones relate to physical touch, emotional well being, material possessions + time. Setting boundaries is hard, especially for a recovering people pleaser like me 🙋🏻♀️.
I never knew how to set a boundary. I did notice initially that I would feel uneasy inside (my body signaling a boundary needing to be set) but I’d dismiss it because I wanted to be liked, I wanted to make others happy, and I didn’t want to ruffle any feathers.
Ignoring myself and pushing my needs aside felt easier than speaking up, and ultimately caused me much physical pain (migraines, shingles, panic attacks, etc). .
Today, boundary setting isn’t as scary… although I still face challenges. As a mother to four young children now, I am now responsible for modeling healthy boundaries, and also advocating for + respecting their boundaries too. It’s a delicate line to find, but one that is always worth walking.
It’s important to realize that as a child, maybe you weren’t given space + support to speak up. And as an adult now, you may struggle because you learned to believe you aren’t allowed boundaries, and that your needs aren’t valued or justified.
Part of this journey is unlearning those old beliefs + applying new tools that reinforce a sense of self, safety + trust from within. It’s possible. And it’s beautifully freeing + powerful.
If you’re new here or to this whole topic, I would love to hear your concerns or questions.
