With thanksgiving behind us, something that I encounter a lot is “I wish that I would’ve said this…”. When you are on this journey, you tend to reflect backwards a lot in your life – because a lot of this process requires that right? But what happens when that thinking in the past becomes more of a hinderance than it is a help? Friends, forgive yourself for what you wish you would have said, but didn’t. In the heat of moments, in the thick of situations, you are doing the very best that you can. Over time this work does become easier BUT that never means it become perfect. There is no way we will always have the right thing to say. There is no way that you won’t want to back track and wish you had included something, said something more gracefully, or even wish you hadn’t said anything at all. This isn’t because your boundary work is flawed…
it’s because you are human.
And being human means making mistakes, fumbling with our words, and occasionally not living up to the standards we set for ourselves. It means having moments of self-doubt and questioning if we handled a situation correctly. But here’s the truth: that self-awareness, that acknowledgment of our imperfections, is actually a sign of our growth!
The journey toward setting and maintaining boundaries is not a linear one, nor is it always a very pretty one if we are being honest! It’s a winding, tumultuous road filled with bumps, detours, and unexpected turns. Each stumble, every moment of hesitation, is a chance to learn. It’s an opportunity to examine our actions, our words, and our intentions. It’s in these moments of reflection that we discover what we value, what we stand for, and what we want to improve upon next time. Extend yourself a little grace, because holding onto these thoughts for longer than it takes to reflect on the change we want to see next time is a slippery slope.
So, when you find yourself dwelling on what you should have said or done differently, take a deep breath. Acknowledge that, yes, you might have stumbled, but you also moved forward. You spoke your truth, even if it felt imperfect. You asserted your boundaries, even if it wasn’t flawless. And that, my friend, is a victory.
Celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem. Forgive yourself for the moments you wish you could redo, because in those very moments, you were learning, growing, and becoming more resilient. Embrace your humanity, and let it be a reminder that your journey is authentic, raw, and beautifully imperfect – just like all of us. Cheers to forgiveness of self, we all need some good practice!
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Now is the time to Discover Your Worth.