If you grew up in a within an unpredictable environment or with caregivers who were unstable, you are not alone! You likely learned to cope through people pleasing, codependency, or joining into the chaos because it helped you feel safe. It’s understandable why you might still long for that chaos even though your environment has changed since then.
So what does this look like? You may catch yourself hearing bad news and then immediately repeating it to others. It may look like starting unnecessary arguments, especially if you feel others pulling away.
Why would someone do this? It’s because chaos, unpredictability, and bad news is what they know! They will return to it, even generating it, because it is what makes them feel safe. It feels familiar and at home in their life. Chaos and bad news allow someone to feel some sort of control and stability over their environment.
Bad news becomes addicting because it triggers the fight or flight response, releasing hormones that make people feel more alert and connected to others in that moment. This temporary boost is, well… very temporary. What follows is chronic stress, anxiety, and even fractured relationships with loved ones.
The good news? If this sounds familiar, you don’t have to perpetuate or be victim to this cycle anymore. Maybe this cycle of bad news, gossip, and chaos is something you see in people around you and you are the one who needs to find the strength to say “no more”. You can learn healthy ways to connect with others that no longer require negativity!
Your life is worthy of peace, no matter how unfamiliar that may feel to you. By staying mindful, saying no, and cultivating positivity you can end these cycles today for good.
Courses on Boundaries, Heal from Codependency, Stewardship, and Rising Daughters are all available immediately for access to every active DYW member. Not only do you receive the self-paced video courses, but you get access to a monthly masterclass (including all the previous ones), bonus content, and email support with me.
Don’t wait… Join us today!
Now is the time to Discover Your Worth.
