We think we are pleasing others because it is how we show our love. But if we look beneath the surface of this behavior, we will find that it is much more than that.
Usually this is a behavior that stems from childhood. Somehow, somewhere along the way, you were taught to believe that people pleasing is how you established safety, love, and predictability.
May women I work with HATE this about themselves. They cringe once we begin to peel back the layers.
Ask yourself if you ever:
had a parent that needed you to parent them?
had a caregiver that was highly judgmental or critical?
had a parent shame or punish your ideas or feelings?
had a parent that had no boundaries?
had a caregiver that put down their own opinions, feelings, or ideas in front of you?
If so, you may find that working through any lingering people pleasing tendencies is beneficial.
You see, it’s more than just being “kind” or the “go with the flow” one. Carrying the work in the relationship is a sure-fire way to lead to exhaustion, resentment, and burnout. It is a role that is impossible to play long term, without substantial damage to mind, body, and soul.
It doesn’t have to stay this way. You can begin the work today to set yourself free.
No longer do you need to earn, people please, or hustle to keep love.