For many of us, especially in motherhood, we can unconsciously make joy dependent on circumstances.
Are my kids happy? Are they doing well in school? Is my husband healthy and content? Are we eating and sleeping well? Is everyone getting along? Am I hitting deadlines or expectations at work? Are my kids making good choices? Does my home feel peaceful?
And when most of these answers are YES, we feel joyful.
But what happens when they aren’t?
What happens when your child is struggling? Your husband is disappointed? Your daughter is angry with you? The house is chaotic? The schedule falls apart? The friendship becomes complicated? The future doesn’t look like what you expected?
If our joy is rooted in circumstances, then our joy will always be vulnerable.
God’s truth gives us something sturdier.
Joy is not something we find in a well behaved child, a peaceful home, a healthy family, or a successful day.
Joy is found in the Lord.
Paul doesn’t describe joy merely as something Christians are supposed to try harder to feel. He calls it fruit of the Spirit:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.” – Galatians 5:22-23
And that word fruit matters.
Fruit isn’t something we can manufacture. It is something a living plant products because it is connected to a source of life.
In the same way, we can’t manufacture spiritual joy through positive thinking, perfect circumstances, or determination. The Holy Spirit produces it in us when we choose to abide in Christ daily.
Jesus says, “remain in me, and I in you. Just as a branch is unable to produce fruit by itself unless it remains on the vine, neither can you unless you remain in me.” -John 15:4
Today, instead of wondering “why don’t I feel more joy?” or “if only X was happening, I would have joy.”
Begin to ask yourself “am I remaining connected to the One who is the true source of my joy?”
Now of course, we will be affected by our circumstances. We will be tired, sometimes cry, worry about our children, feel disappointed when something doesn’t go the way we hoped, and have concerns for our spouse.
Christian JOY doesn’t require we pretend.
It is radically different than the happiness promoted in the world.
Instead, joy found in the Lord can coexist with grief. With disappointment. With uncertainty. With a really hard day.
If our joy depends on outside circumstances, our joy will rise and fall as those circumstances change. But if our joy is rooted in Christ, we can love others, celebrate and mourn, and ride the waves of life without losing sight of what is true.
So, how can you abide more deeply with Christ today? Maybe it is opening up your Bible? Pressing pause on your to do list to pray? Putting on a worship song? Giving thanks or finding someone to serve?
- What I am listening to this week: With the kids BTS and me working from home, I’ve made it a priority again to create a reset for myself that helps me transition from work mode to afterschool mom. Pressing pause in the late afternoons with this prayer practice helps me move from the frenzy of work and daily demands to a welcoming posture of warmth and peace.
- What I am reading this week: A Biblical Walk Through the Mass . I grew up Catholic and never grasped the true historical meaning behind the words and the rituals, or the liturgy rooted in scripture. Fascinating!
- A favorite this week: I gave all the teachers this Pumpkin Dulce candle and currently have it burning in our home. I also loved this planner so much that I just ordered another for next year!
- An exciting update: I will be sharing the cover and details of my new book next month, you won’t want to miss it!
- Share this newsletter with a friend or connect with me on social media HERE.
With the holidays quickly approaching, and demands from family and friends entering the chat, the guide I created below might be helpful. Also, if you are in need of boundaries “refresher,” grab a copy of my book!
Order “Loyal to a Fault”
How to Establish New Patterns When Loving Others Has Left you Hurting
Free Guide to Assertive Communication
If you are a fellow people pleaser, someone who struggles with speaking your opinions clearly, or has learned along the way that your needs aren’t as important as others – know that you are not alone.
Assertive communication can feel so uncomfortable at first. It may also come as a shock to those around you, and you may have concerns about what they will think. We are going to dive into untangling all of the myths you have surrounding assertiveness and talk about why it serves both us and those around us.
