I have come to believe that codependency is an inherited trait. The women before you too, displayed patterns of codependency. Most recently, I read something by Melody Beattie that confirmed what I am seeing in our generation. I paraphrase below.
First Generation endured the Great Depression, fought in WWI or II, or suffered in the Holocaust. The term Codependency wasn’t known then, but martyrdom and deprivation was in their children’s DNA.
Second Generation born in seventies or eighties, wanted to make sure their kids had everything they didn’t get. Because of this, they over compensated for their own deprivation. They guard their children from experiencing problems or pain (helicopter parenting or gentle parenting without limits).
Third generation children now expect life to be easier than it is and become anxious and depressed when it is not. Highly reliant on parents and have no real tools to manage or regulate emotions.
I find it fascinating to see the lineage of codependency. You will see the pendulum swing, and no real tools to regulate or secure healthy autonomy. Parents and children depend on each other in unhealthy ways, and the cycle continues.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can break codependency for good, and I have resources to help you.
