Recently my girls have been asking why we don’t listen to Taylor Swift music at home or in the car. You see lots of their friends belt out her lyrics, wear her merchandise, attend her concerts and even throw Swiftie themed birthday parties.
Before I get too far into this post, I want you to know it isn’t about Taylor as a human. I don’t actually know anything about her, and what little I do I get from misleading and random social media snippets. In addition, I don’t watch the news and wouldn’t know who she was dating if it weren’t for the hype around the Super Bowl.
What I do know is that I have been entrusted with training my girls to be discerning and wise with their choices and behavior. This starts with what I (and eventually they) allow to influence them.
Enter in- mass media.
Music, television, and literature in it of themselves are not “bad.” But they do have the power to produce emotion, inflict confusion, and plant seeds of doubt or falsehood for children that can eventually lead to decision making that may be counter productive to the life I believe God has in store for them.
And you may say that it isn’t that big of deal, (like many other mom’s on social media did!) to which I would kindly disagree. In fact, music has a way of going places in our mind, body and soul that other modalities simply don’t reach as quickly. (And it tends to stick!) It is why music is often paired to help children learn (consider the melody of the ABC’s or the “head, shoulder’s, knees and toes” song). I mean, ever wonder why you can’t get “baby shark” out of your head after only hearing it once or twice?
I could easily dismiss their desire to know TS songs. I could ignore their requests and shut down their questions. I could simply tell them “we aren’t listening to that type of music” and that would be the end of it, for a while anyway. They would oblige me, but I would miss an important opportunity. One of
exercising discernment.
My goal as their mom isn’t to get them to obey me. I want them to know The Truth, heed warning from the Holy Spirit, and then respond to His guidance. Having good discernment as a young woman begins by getting in reps of discerning– which is a skill they will have for the rest of their lives, long after I am gone!
My goal is also not to shield them from the influences of the world. Mass media isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. I want to expose them (age appropriately) to these things so that we can have an honest and safe conversation. This is a low risk exercise that reaps a multitude of benefit!
So over the weekend, we looked up the top 5 streamed songs by Taylor Swift and read through the lyrics together. I made dinner as they asked me questions like:
What does “playboy” mean?
Why did she write “karma is her god?”
What does “our altar is my hips” mean?
Why did she say “she gets the car, the kids and the house?”
Who is she saying is “the king of my heart, soul and body? Is that God?”
This conversation was soooo rich. It allowed them to get real definitions for words that they have heard but didn’t quite understand. It allowed me to confirm that they still need my guidance with this stuff. She was also able to take a stab at the possible meaning behind some of these songs, and their intent. We were able to come together and hold them up to the truth and purity of scripture, which have been planted deep into her since before birth.
One of the most common messages I got after sharing that reel on IG was from shocked mothers who had no idea these lyrics were apart of TS albums. Which is something to consider too, if we are to teach our children discernment, are we discerning first? What are we being passive to inside our own homes?
This conversation is far from over. It has now led to another discussion, on how to deal with friends who are die hard Swifties. Remember, this is a family culture of question asking, curiosity, and honest conversation that we have established in our home. I want my children to come to us, so that we can be her primary source of truth feeding, and not her peers which may or may not have a sound, mature or wise foundation yet.
Taylor’s old country music is still quite adorable, and so maybe there is a compromise to be had in that somewhere. But her newer music just isn’t appropriate for my girls, and it may never be. (Heck, I am a grown woman and have no interest in listening to music about infidelity, drugs, or worshiping false gods. And I haven’t even reviewed her newest album).
I think it’s because I have finally hit the stage in my life where I am less interested in how I am being entertained and more interested in how I am being formed.
The reality is, the Taylor Swift craze will come and go, and there will be another hot artist, writer, or television star to consume, just like there was in my childhood. It is my hope however, that through each and every craze and phase, my children will learn to discern for themselves what is good, honorable, pure and lovely– and chase after that instead.