This topic has been on my mind lately. What I value and why.
As a mother to three daughters, I realize now how much what I value, becomes what they value.
I also am reflecting on the things my own mother valued, and didn’t, and how that has impacted me.
What do I mean?
I am finding that this all reveals itself most commonly in the areas I feel guilty. For example, I use to have a very hard time resting. My mother was the oldest daughter of 8, and so she never had time as a child to rest or play. As an adult woman, rest wasn’t something she valued, and I believe I inherited some shame around that. I struggle to this day with resting without guilt.
Other examples include going back to school, getting a service done (like my hair or nails), or purchasing something at full price. These areas are all directly tethered to some limiting beliefs I carry around what it means to value myself. Most of which come from the modeling of scarcity by the women before me.
I invite you to take some time to reflect upon the areas that bring you guilt. What value is attached to it? Is there a limiting belief that is holding you back? How can you care for yourself in ways that perhaps were never modeled to you by women before you?
“If your mother never valued her own physical, emotional, or spiritual wellness, you may feel guilty valuing your own.” -Courtney J. Burg
Generations before us felt the need to live as martyrs. They gave up their education to stay at home and raise children. They pinched every penny, and never purchased new. They never valued spending time resting, learning, or cultivating a hobby. I extend empathy and compassion for those women. I also extend myself the same. I remind myself, it is okay to value what matters to me, now. I am not responsible for tending to their wounds. I am responsible for healing my own, and passing on the gift of valuing myself to my daughters.
Sending you encouragement today, where ever you are.
You are enough.
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