I was recently asked to speak at a MOPS group. If you aren’t familiar, MOPS is an international program that welcomes moms to gather and support one another with Jesus through motherhood. Usually it is hosted at a church with some format of a speaker, food, and discussion. If you are a mom of little ones, I highly suggest searching for one in your area (or starting one!). It is a great way to establish a faithful community and enjoy fellowship with other moms in a similar season.
As I began preparing my message, I really felt God pressing upon my heart to speak on proverbs 14:1. This text was one I had to cling to early in motherhood, and one I have been convicted by many times since.
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1
How does a woman (particularly a mother) do such a thing? The scripture here isn’t implying a literal meaning of destroying with her hands, it is implying that a woman has the power and influence to build up or break down her home (and the people in it) with her words and behavior.
Whether intentionally or unconsciously, destructive habits can wreak havok on your household. It can be as extreme as adultery, or spending money carelessly. It can be cutting words of gossip, sarcasm, daily complaints. or griping. It can be undermining your partner’s leadership with explosions of anger or an undercurrent of resentment. It can be running to something to numb when home life gets hard.
I believe the first step in applying this scripture verse is turning away from pride and towards a practice of humility. You see, when we speak and behave in ways that “pull down” our own home, it is usually because we are so highly focused on our own needs and wants. I am not saying as wives and mothers we shouldn’t have opportunities for self care, I AM saying that our culture is slowly idolizing this. As if without frequent self care breaks I can’t function. That is a lie. Margins for rest should be a part of your routine so that you aren’t buckling under the weight of your day to day responsibilities. If you aren’t sure where to begin, go back to this post I wrote a few weeks ago on starting a Sabbath practice.
Another component that has helped me is experiencing a severe perspective shift. Trust me, I am still human and each morning I wake and my natural tendency is to want to complain. My flesh begins to look for moments of tension to stew about; the laundry that needs folding, the toddler throwing a fit, the time I didn’t get to work on that assignment. And yet I am reminded each day that God will give me margins to get done what He needs me to which often doesn’t match the expectations I have placed on myself or my day.
And lastly I am reminded that it isn’t about me. I have the honor to be a wife and mother. This responsibility is one He bestowed upon me that I can not take lightly. I do not get to do this again. At any moment I can pause to reset. I can literally take a deep breath and remind myself that by serving my children in the mundane, I am serving God in the Highest. I am holding space for something sacred; for his glory and light to shine in our home, so we can shine outside it together. What a privilege that is!
If you are feeling as though you have been tearing your home down instead of building it up, I encourage you today that it isn’t too late to start again. Brick by brick, moment by moment, consider inviting God back into your home and allow Him to help your rebuild. Watch what He can do in and through your willingness to respond.