This is how I knew. How I knew I was making progress. How I knew I was mothering from a place of healing + not hurt/fear. I, like many of you perhaps, worried often if I was doing this mama thing right. I was concerned about how my baby dressed, feared she would make a scene in public, and fretted over every decision I had to make for her. I just wanted to at least LOOK + ACT the part. I didn’t want anyone to ever think I was failing, even though everyday that’s exactly how I felt. I had zero belief in myself, and placed a lot of pressure on her because of these insecurities.
What I’ve since learned is that motherhood isn’t about outsourcing for all the advice, tips + hacks. It isn’t about getting the smile of approval from in laws or friends or that stranger in the grocery store. I don’t need a pat on the back from the world or a badge that says I’m doing it right. God entrusted me, that’s enough.
I now look mainly inward for guidance. I also look down, into the roundest most beautiful brown eyes and see a baby girl who is looking back at me for our confidence + truth. It is then that I am reminded, SHE is what matters. Her needs matter. Her thoughts + opinions matter. What she thinks of me will always supersede what the world thinks of me… and healing is what got me here. ❤️