I sat across from Fred, our therapist, with a blank stare.
He didn’t ask me anything profound. He simply asked me where I wanted my then Fiance (now husband) to take me to lunch.
I had no idea.
Not because I had no cravings or because I picked last and it was his turn to decide… but because I had no idea what I wanted.
Not just for lunch.
But in life.
My entire being was consumed by what HE wanted. His career. His goals. His ideas. His needs.
I thought this was how I was suppose to love. But it was exhausting me, and suffocating him. The more I gave, the more he pulled away, the more anxious I became.
Fred explained that I had to find our “gray.” The area where my needs and his needs over lapped ever so slightly, for the betterment of the relationship without it consuming us. But I had to learn who I was WITHOUT him.
It’s easy to fall into this pattern.
I did it as a college athlete.
Again as a new fiance.
Then as an “addict.”
And even when I became a mother.
Boundaries on self literally saved me, from me. It’s why I’ll never stop sharing the power + goodness of this practice. 🤍