Others cross invisible lines ALL THE TIME.
Maybe they mean to do it, maybe not.
Intention doesn’t matter really, as it doesn’t lessen the discomfort.
They say something off putting, confusing, inappropriate even…
And it leaves you feeling, well gross.
This isn’t yours to carry.
When someone crosses a line, they should feel uncomfortable, not you.
Often women I coach stomach the discomfort that isn’t theirs to stomach. They have early conditioning of codependency, which holds them stuck … thinking things like “I shouldn’t be so sensitive,” or “I don’t want to over react,” or “well maybe they were just joking?”
This is the byproduct of unhealed wounds. This is the armor that keeps you picking up armor of performing, perfecting and people pleasing. It leaves you wanting to fix the discomfort QUICK, even if it means you abandoning yourself and your limits.
You don’t have to rescue everyone. Especially those that cross a line. You don’t have to absorb + consume the upset or confusion. This isn’t your job.
What I hope to help women embrace is those moments of discomfort. Not claiming them as theirs to manage or clean up. This is an opportunity to sit in sour moments, because they aren’t yours to make sweet again. You don’t help others by fixing their mistakes. You hold the line they cross without making it your job to make look pretty again.
It takes practice, but with practice, these moments won’t feel like they are yours to own anymore.
You will finally feel worthy of that limit you are guarding.
Xo,
Court
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