We have all sat before someone, as a “spectator” I call it, and listened as a friend or family member shared a boundary they set.
It can feel really uncomfortable, especially if you are new to this work. Maybe you felt your heart race. Or your jaw tighten. You perhaps felt a deep desire to offer advice, to plea that they fix it, or even just move on.
I am beginning to believe it’s even harder for spectators to witness two people they love at odds with one another. Sometimes It reminds them of the voice they don’t have, of the limitations they can’t set yet. Other times, it’s because we are all conditioned to “get along.” And when disruption happens, it’s often too much to handle.
But being a spectator is a wonderful opportunity to lend support. To remind them that to speak up and to claim space and limits and rest and peace IS HOW WE LOVE others well.
Here’s the deal: even if you don’t get it, even if you don’t agree or understand or support their boundary, you can commit to showing up uncomfortable beside them as a source of encouragement… because it takes a shit ton of courage to remain true to ourselves, especially when it means disrupting the status quo.
Kudos to all of you out there paving a new path for yourself today. It can be lonely work, until it’s not.
Save these “spectator scripts” as a reminder for when you need it. Click the bookmark 📁
Have you had some of these said to you?? Have you said them to others?