What is #skinnytok and Why Moms Should Care

What is #skinnytok? According to Courier Mail, “SkinnyTok” refers to a concerning trend on TikTok that promotes extreme thinness and unhealthy weight loss practices. Under this hashtag, users share videos that often encourage disordered eating behaviors, such as starvation, excessive calorie restriction, and weight loss tips that prioritize appearance over health. Phrases like “Hunger isn’t an emergency” and “Your weight is someone’s fear weight” are commonly used, which can be harmful to impressionable viewers, particularly young girls.

Why should we care? As a mom to three daughters, I try to stay up to date on cultural trends like this one. We often have choices when faced with an influence like #skinnytok. And even if your girls aren’t on social media, they will be one day. Another trend then will be very much like this one. So what are our options?

We can choose to ignore it.

We can hope our girls won’t notice it.

Or, we can talk to them directly about it.

I have chosen the latter. Here are a few helpful suggestions to keep in mind if you want to engage in healthy, ongoing conversations about popular trends like this one:

1. Talk often and openly about body image. One of the best ways to continue having open and neutral dialogues with your daughter about the impacts of social media or trends like #skinnytok is to start having them! So many women I have heard from tell me their mom never talked openly with them, so they don’t know where to begin– which is why beginning can feel like the hardest part! Create a safe space between you and her where she knows you won’t judge her, and over time you will become a valuable authority she can trust. If you aren’t ready to talk to her about #skinnytok just yet, maybe you can point out a highly edited magazine image at the grocery store. Encourage her to critically think about what she is seeing and why she thinks it is being shown to her (like selling a product, service, etc).
2. Keep open conversations going by normalizing culturally relevant events. Instead of judgment around the #skinnytok trend, lead with curiosity and support: “Hey, I saw a video on TikTok talking about weight loss. What do you think about that?” Normalize talking about the negative pressures of a trend like this, and how it is glorifying our bodies and prioritizing being thin > healthy and strong. Remind her that while trends like this aren’t going anywhere, she can learn to discern what is true and what isn’t.
3. Monitor her online use. This should go without saying, but I will still say it anyway as I am noticing more and more of my daughter’s friends have access to iPads and phones without supervision. Please monitor your daughter’s online use! Right now there are so many dangers and harmful images circulating on various “kid friendly” platforms (like YouTube). Set parental controls to protect her against harmful content and be sure she has healthy screen time limits. In our home, my children are not allowed to have any devices in their rooms (and we don’t own iPads), the TV is on our family patio and any computer time needed for school is done in the office with timers and consistent monitoring.
4. Navigate online spaces together: If they are on social media already, know which influencers and hashtags they’re following. Sometimes it’s not about banning but GUIDING. Co-view content and talk about it often. Watch a reel or video and spend time together unpacking what is true, beautiful and good about it (or what isn’t). Arm her with practical skills to understand how social media works, including filters, editing, algorithms, and unrealistic beauty standards. And keep talking openly with her about it!

At the end of the day, our daughters are facing a world unlike the ones you and I faced growing up. Sometimes as a mom, it can feel like an uphill battle. Social media has changed the standards of beauty and we have to do the hard messy work of walking alongside her in it. This is our reality. And there is no turning back.

I do believe we can stay encouraged and hopeful however- it is possible to confidently walk alongside your daughter as she engages with cultural trends like #skinnytok, while helping her to not be consumed by them. And while the journey won’t be linear or perfect, it is such an incredible privilege to be a part of.