@consciousdiscipline calls it the Brain State model. Then there’s the Polyvagal Theory, by Stephen Porges. We have seen the research on ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) and understand the importance of a child feeling safe.
Most don’t study this stuff like me. Most are mamas who are home dealing with young children, desperate to do better, to break cycles, to be the safe place for their babies yet unsure how. Then kids tantrum + don’t cooperate + have a hard time sitting still or engaging with classmates in school and we feel triggered, like we are failing… we go to bed defeated, exhausted, confused. I get it. It’s hard.
I don’t think you need to research these theories or philosophies to add them into your home. If there’s one thing you can do today to make the SHIFT in your parenting, it’s to look for ways to provide SAFETY for your child. But what does that mean?
Allow for mistakes.
Find time to connect.
Play (let them lead!)
Regulate yourself FIRST.
Invite all feelings in.
Set + encourage boundaries.
Create a soft, consistent routine.
I believe in you. I believe you can be the parent you never had. I believe you can find joy + meaning in this parenting journey. I believe it doesn’t have to be hard all.the.time. I believe children are here to grow us, not to upset or anger or disappoint us. They don’t want to “be bad,” they just need guidance + help. You were hand chosen to be their helper. Stay encouraged. I’m glad you’re here ❤️