I don’t think there’s a “balance” when keeping your child safe + whole. I do think there are topics that are simply OFF THE TABLE. I call these non negotiables. We all have them.
For me, I never force my kid to eat so that they get a treat later. I may ask them to try one more bite or remind them that we won’t have anymore dinner available after so to be “sure your belly is full for the night.” I trust that they are full when they say they are.
I don’t allow anyone to hug or hold or grab or tickle them without their permission. I know their looks and I know their voices. When either change even slightly, I step in.
But some stuff I’m flexible on. With four children now, our babies often skip naps on special occasions. We know this makes for a longer night on our end because over tired babies don’t sleep well🤣. However we also drive two cars in case I need to get the babies home earlier. I also don’t stress the manners stuff. My kids are polite. They are kind. I trust that they won’t be a jerk as an adult because my husband and I model appreciation and gratitude daily. They usually say “please” and “thank you” without being reminded.
To me it’s about tone and delivery from others… I never allow them to be manipulated or guilted or coaxed into saying or doing anything. If so, again I’ll step in. I speak up for them until they are able to do it for themselves.
What are your questions?? Type them here so I can clarify if needed. I want you to feel empowered this holiday season. Advocating for your child takes practice, but is SO IMPORTANT in keeping them feeling safe, confident + seen. My trust becomes their trust in themselves. It’s crucial we remind our kids that they are allowed limits too.
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