We can’t force compliance, rush processing, or demand obedience.
Many are angry. Underneath that anger is layers + layers of unprocessed trauma, abuse + neglect. Generations of it actually. Stored, transmitted, and stored again.
The only way to heal is to feel.
Feeling can look aggressive.
It can appear erratic.
It can then be misunderstood + misinterpreted + judged. This doesn’t nurture the process. This reinforces the storage. The transmission. The inheritance of unhealed wounds again + again.
To transform we must allow others to feel, to let it all come to the surface. Every ounce of betrayal + confusion + anger. This is the only way. We don’t like this, we like control. We hate letting feelings be. We like to keep things cozy, predictable, convenient. Even if it takes force or looking away.
Humans are wired to survive. If they are threatened, primal instincts take over. Many have been in survival mode their entire lives. Fears + pain may lay dormant for a while, but it does not disappear. Once triggered, it makes its way out again. It isn’t pretty. But surviving isn’t meant to be. It’s life or death. Establishing safety in mind + body is how we will find progress. But not before we feel the pain. Not before we see the mess + hear the hurt + acknowledge the years of buried wounds.
This week I have observed. I’ve listened. I’ve prayed. I’ve also witnessed humans who are traumatized, scared, disappointed, angry + sad. The response to this can’t be judgement, ridicule or shame. Forcing compliance may extinguish behavior temporarily, but is that what we really want, again? To bottle this up so we feel more comfortable? So that things “look” okay? So that everyone can get back to their old roles + “play nice?” No.
I want to welcome it.
Let it out.
Let’s be uncomfortable.
Let’s see each other,
deeply, fully. Finally.
It’s over due.
We mustn’t ask: “how do we get this behavior to stop?” .
We must ask: “how can we help others feel seen, safe + heard?” .
This is the first step of many…
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