When I first became a mama, I carried a ton of shame + insecurity and I took that out on her. I wanted her to perform and fill the spaces that ached inside of me. I needed her to erase my past + remind me of my strengths. I desperately craved a love + connection and tried to create it in the only ways I knew how:: grit + force.
I’ve learned a lot since then, including the sobering truth that how I treat my kids is often a direct reflection of how I’m feeling about myself. Ouch 😣
When we feel shame, we shame our kids.
When we lack limits, we have no limits with or for our children.
When we feel insecure, we perform and make our kids perform too.
When we seek only perfection, we leave no space for mistake making or slower progress.
When we honor our outward appearances or accomplishments only, our children suffer from the weight of this task too.
It’s easy to see how you feel + treat yourself, by the way you treat your babies. When we heal, we learn to respect, love + accept ourselves. This washes over onto our children, and the next generation after them. 🤍
Reflect for a moment + share if you wish… in what ways did your caregivers bring out the way they felt about themselves in how they cared (or didn’t care) for you? Were you made to perform? Over achieve or please? Did you have any boundaries? Was there mutual respect? Are you now repeating the cycle or choosing to break it for good? 👇🏼👇🏼
I have a *Breaking Free* journal guide I created to help me through this healing process. It takes awareness + practice, and this tool can help. Download it if you’re ready.