It is really difficult to always like doing something that is exhausting, yet humbling. Motherhood is like working out at the gym; the getting dressed is hard. The getting in the car is hard. The walking into the gym is hard. The working out is really hard. But THEN once it’s over, you feel SO good! Same with motherhood. The days are long, and hard, and once they are over- it feels like a damn good workout finished. A stretch of character. An accomplishment. A step of growth.
I think it’s okay to LOVE being a mother, but not always LIKE being one.
When I first became a mom, I use to worry that I wasn’t making the most out of every moment. I wondered why I didn’t enjoy it as much as some other moms seemed to. I also dreaded the thought of feeling the feelings so many older moms often say about how much I will miss them being this little. Maybe I will. But maybe I won’t miss the teething, the tantrums, the not peeing alone, and the breaking up of cat clawing fights between two sisters. Just maybe.
Here’s the deal, mommas. I don’t dread the future anymore. And I also don’t kill myself trying to fit the “mommy mold” society tells me I have to. Instead, I approach it this way:
Some moments, I CLING to their little faces and memorize the sound of their precious voices and smell all their little smells while thinking “damn they are so cute, I wish I could keep them this way forever.”
And other times, I CLING to my sanity and count down the minutes to bed time, shove some pickles, a cheese stick and cashews down their throat for dinner and tuck them tight into bed as my head, feet and heart pound for a B R E A K… thinking to myself “damn I can’t wait for this stage to pass.”
Both “clingy” moments may happen on and off, through out the same day, (heck- in the SAME HOUR), because THAT’s motherhood; clinging to our littles, while clinging to our sanity. On and off and on again. Over and over. Each moment rushing in and out like a fast rising tide; sometimes crashing along the shore… beating down whatever stands in its way, and other times slowly rising… a magical, bliss filled moment to enjoy.
Love, gratitude, admiration for both. But not always liked.
And if you find yourself in more moments of clinging to your sanity than clinging to your littles today.. that’s okay momma. It’s all part of the joyous, messy ride.
Where are you at in your motherhood journey? Babies? Toddlers? Teens? I want to hear from you. Leave me a comment below detailing your latest “clingy” moment.