“I am sorry” is an important phrase often used to heal wounds, mend relationships, or clear up miscommunications and mistakes. However, in my generation- women are killing the meaning by using it in all the wrong circumstances. Here are 4 powerful instances where you should scratch the apology and step into your confidence instead.
Stop saying “I am sorry” for:
1. Your thoughts or ideas. Women are gaining rank in business and that is by no mistake. But these women know they deserve a seat at the table. They do not start emails with “I am sorry to bother you but” nor do they apologize for sharing their insight and knowledge. They believe in themselves and taking risks, finding nothing appealing about playing it small. Stand confident in your ability to make change and create momentum in whatever career or position you are in.
2. Your children. Everyone has bad days, including our kids. Children are not yet able to regulate emotions or communicate needs effectively, and teens can be crabby and hormonal. Quit apologizing for your crying baby, your tantruming toddler, or the teen who didn’t hug Aunt Sue goodbye. They are doing exactly what they need to to figure out their body, their feelings, and the world around them. Our children need us to have their backs more than we need others to accept and approve of our parenting.
3. Your goals. Maybe you want to lose weight, or you want breast implants, or you want to quit your job and stay home. Perhaps you want to sell your house and downsize, go back to school, or train for a marathon. Whatever it may be, quit apologizing for making changes in your own life. You have no one to explain yourself to. Stand confident in your decisions, without justifying them to others through apologies.
4. Boundaries. You will see me write this often. It is okay to say NO. A good friend of mine often reminds me, “say what you mean, and mean what you say, but don’t say it mean.” I am a firm believer that “no” is a complete sentence. Don’t want to commit to something? No. Can’t pick up little Joey’s friend for soccer? No. Receive a toxic text from someone, looking to engage in an argument? No. You are allowed to ask for what you need and get it, without apologizing for it first.
Remember, you deserve to take up space. Your opinion and thoughts matter. Do not apologize for being here, for your choices, or for caring for yourself and your people. Save your apologies for when you are really sorry.