I was chatting with a new mama friend last week + she admitted to me that her two year old daughter was still sleeping in her bed. I could feel her reservation; worried I would judge her. I smiled, and shared that we don’t cosleep, that all my children are in beds or cribs… and it was okay. We both had a different version of what was best for our own families.
We went on to discuss secure attachment, and what matters. So many mamas fear that their child will not have this safe, quality foundation if we don’t feed them all organic foods or if we don’t hug them all.day.long or if we work out of the house or if we don’t sacrifice everything.
The truth is, secure attachment is not based on these things. 😱
We provide secure attachment for our babies when we look at the bigger picture. We must pan out… and focus less on the details + more on the constant themes. How is the communication? The boundaries? Do we allow for big emotions? Do we work to coregulate? How is the discipline? Do they have routines? Can we make mistakes? Rest? Play? Have we created an environment that is consistent + predictable? Do they feel respected? Does your child trust you? Do they trust themselves?
What is your biggest question/concern when it comes to this? Learn more on the different attachment styles + how they can reveal themselves in your parenting in my IGTV series.
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