I grew up never hearing “I’m sorry.” I would however, hear “you’re being sensitive, too emotional, and we are only joking.”
I never took my feelings or thoughts serious. I didn’t trust how I felt because no one around me ever validated me. I took on a lot of the blame, really believing a lot of what was happening was my fault.
Some say parents shouldn’t apologize to children. I disagree. We shouldn’t apologize in these ways. We shouldn’t apologize to pass on guilt or to manipulate or place blame or to force change.
We should apologize because we want to model remorse. We want to model failing + trying again. We want to model that we are human + that even when we are imperfect, we choose to continue showing up.
Which of these ring familiar to you?