We hear the phrase “have no expectations” tossed around all the time. It’s the key to happiness and peace, they say.
What has happened over time however is that we have begun to believe that having no expectations with others means having no limits with others.
An expectation sounds like
“If he doesn’t come on time, I will be so disappointed because we will all have to wait and dinner will go cold.”
A boundary sounds like
“I am asking you to arrive on time, and if you don’t then I’ll need to serve dinner with out you.”
✨ We can still feel + honor our disappointment, but it’s time to eat.
An expectation is a hidden agenda with control at its root. It’s often not communicated on the surface, but a deeply felt current within relationships. It’s a game of telepathy. Unfortunately, we can’t read each other’s minds and therefore often feel resentful, let down or angry when our expectations aren’t met. Expectations keep us in a victim role. They keep us blaming. They keep us looking outward. They keep us stuck.
Boundaries are clear + kind. Having no expectations, yet communicating clear limits takes courage. It takes vulnerability and a willingness to say the wrong thing enough times to finally say it right. It’s a dance; not a push and pull. It’s showing up when it’s messy and having hard conversations. Boundaries bring back our power. They help reclaim our peace. They bring us closer to our people or help us break free from them if necessary. No longer are we the victim or spectator at the whim of the external, but a person taking responsibility for our own happiness, looking inward for the guidance always… 🤍
