I talk often about “losing” yourself in relationships. This is common in relationships without boundaries. It’s what happens when caring crosses a line.
I’ve lost myself in relationships in the past. As a child with my parents. As a teen with my first love. As a young woman with an addicted family member. Even as a newly wed trying to find my place in this world.
Each circumstance looked a little different, but it all felt the same inside 👉🏼anxiety + fear.
I feared life without them. I wanted to make them happy, proud. I craved their approval. I needed to fix or save them. I earned my spot even if it meant denying my own needs and wants. It caused me much suffering… and I slowly began to drift away. I didn’t know who I was anymore without this role, this relationship. I lost myself in them.
Boundary work is the way back home to yourself. At first you may not know how set boundaries because you don’t even know what you like or need anymore. That’s normal. Today, begin to explore what it means to take care of yourself. Ask yourself, “who am I without them?” Bit by bit you will find your way back to solid ground, to security, to healing… to you.
