It wasn’t too long ago, that I felt a deep sadness around this time. I was heavily drinking, fighting anxiety + depression, and while I had a home, I didn’t want to return to it.
Every direction I looked, I cringed. I was surrounded by many, yet felt utterly alone. I longed for a partner, for children, for some sense of stability + purpose. I simply couldn’t feel joy, let alone feel gratitude + excitement for the day my Savior was born. I felt ashamed of this.
What I wish I knew then, was that it was okay to feel sad. I didn’t need to pressure myself to feel gratitude, I didn’t need to force myself to smile. I simply needed to keep going + have faith. It was all a part of the process. This I now know.
So here’s your reminder… you’re right where you need to be + God is not done with you. Your story is just beginning + it will be beautiful. But for now it must be messy. Share of your sadness; do not hide or disguise or numb it. Allow others to comfort you.
Friend, God can handle your pain. I wish I knew that, then. He is not offended by our disappointment, or our hurts or our mistakes. He does not get upset or overwhelmed by our sadness. He knows my whole story, and yours. You just must choose to keep going and allow Him to reveal it to you.
This holiday season, where ever you are, know I am rooting for you. Know that tears cleanse, that this will pass, and that you are never, ever alone.
Hugs ♥️
