Itchiness. I feel this. I’m itchy + impatient + stuck + grief stricken. I’m also grateful + joy filled + at peace. Yes, all of that. 🌊
Last week we officially became parents to an infant baby boy. We had prayed for him since we started our adoption journey about a year ago. I immediately felt the grief of his first mama, the ache rise up of not being there for him or her. See, he arrived 6 weeks early, a day before my due date with his (now) little sister. He is getting strong in the NICU, and not being with him CRUSHES me. It all seems so unfair. So unplanned. So damn messy.
Baby girl is now a week over due. I’ve tried all the things, but she isn’t budging. I want her to come so we can go snuggle baby boy, but we can’t travel until then. He needs us. She needs us. I need them. Divided.
And so I wait, more. I surrender, more. I feel the itches + choose to trust the timing. I cry the tears + search for the joy amidst the uncertainty. I take deep breaths + know our time of togetherness will come. Inside the itchiness is where we discover who we are, or maybe who’s we are. God has taken us this far, He won’t quit now. 🙏🏼