I’m beginning to believe, the longer I do this “mama thing,” that children don’t have a motivation problem, they have a trust problem. They don’t have a disrespect problem, they have a trust problem. They don’t have a confidence problem, they have a trust problem.
We push our kids to eat when they don’t want to, so they learn to distrust their own hunger cues.
We force them to hug when they don’t want to, so they begin to distrust their own body limits.
We force them to play instruments or read too young or do activities they aren’t interested in so they begin to distrust their own curiosities.
We make them share + apologize and recite little scripts that they don’t understand all for the means of being “respectful” or “polite.”
Children don’t need us for a lot. They need us to help them feel safe + remind them we trust them. They will “learn” all of this when we model it in our own lives, and when we give them time, trust + support to eventually do it in theirs.
We trust their pace + their interests. We trust their “no.” We trust their limits + their space + their curiosities. This is how we build confidence, consideration, motivation, respect + empathy.
Trusting our children begins with trusting ourselves first. Do you trust yourself?