Ugly meaning, you behave in ugly ways because you don’t have healthy boundaries.
It doesn’t have to be this way, of course. Boundaries are key to ensuring you aren’t acting ugly in your relationships. They help you show up as your best, joyful, confident and kind self.
Here are 5 ugly sides of boundary less people to watch for in yourself:
The hangover: after speaking or spending time with someone, you become exhausted, self critical, or irritable with others and yourself. Your relationship with one person, has an affect on other relationships. For example, anytime you get off the phone with your complaining mother, you are snippy with your husband and kids. This is the emotional hangover that comes from poor boundaries with your mother.
The Leftovers: you give so much to this one person, that everyone else gets whats left of you. For example, you are running yourself ragged at work, even perhaps volunteering for your children’s school, yet you are wiped out and unable to be present with your family at home.
The Firecracker: this stems from a dishonesty with self and the amount you are able to give in a relationship. You tend to self implode or explode, and drown in shame after. Perhaps you give so much to that one friend or family member, then you are mad that they took from you, when in reality you gave yourself away because you lack limits.
The Deer in Headlights– Here you fear making decisions and usually freeze under pressure. You aren’t sure what to give or when to give it. Your boundaries are porous, inconsistent and confusing. You want to set limits, but you just don’t know how.
The Chameleon- you live morphing yourself into what others need you to be. You want them to like you, accept you, love and need you. You fear losing others so you lose yourself instead.