I was raised Catholic. I learned quickly to fear God, place family first, and to forgive quickly… no matter the circumstances. Over the years I lost myself, and lost the purpose + passion God placed on my life. I was so deeply enmeshed + mixed into the pain and chaos of others, without any real way of breaking free or protecting myself. I was confused, hurt + anxious.
What I have learned through my own healing + relationship with God is that I’m allowed (and need) a voice, and that authentic, close relationships can only thrive on healthy boundaries. He never made me (or you) to be a door mat, or a problem solver of other people’s issues. I can have compassion + hold space, without being swept away. I can care deeply + also limit my exposure to those who are on different journeys than me right now. I can love God, forgive, and also boldly know that I am worthy of guarding my time, treasures + emotional well-being. Not because others always agree, but because He says so.
Problem is, these old scripts or beliefs can totally surface, especially when those closest to us remind us of them. But I’ve come to understand that it isn’t their fault, or my responsibility to live out these old rules. They were passed down, guilted generation to guilted generation, by folks who truly believed it was the best way to love + to live. It’s hard to face reality, it’s hard to feel hurt, it’s hard to set + maintain boundaries. But I’ve welcomed the work and it has blessed me ten fold.
The topic of boundary work is my favorite. It truly is a love language; not a tool to silence others, but an outlet to share your voice + live out your calling with clarity. In my opinion, it’s the only way we can really show up authentically.
