“What do I do when they won’t respect my boundary?”
This ☝🏼☝🏼 I receive in my inbox or on comment threads daily. And some of y’all, aren’t ready for the answer. That’s okay.
I created this graphic a few years ago when I wanted to give a visual reminder of your options. As violations increase, so does your boundary. You can feel confused, disappointed, even angry about their reactions. But don’t allow these feelings to dictate how you manage your boundary. Just notice. Pause. Remain open and curious. And also steadfast. Firm. Consistent.
I call it BUMPING UP THE BOUNDARY. It’s necessary if/when folks push back or test you. Remember, they’ll only take your boundary seriously if you do.
It isn’t easy. It’s hard to step into your worth. It will cost you relationships that you thought were EVERYTHING. One minute, you felt this person was your ride or die, they had your back, were there through thick and thin. That is, until you spoke up about a need. Until you expressed a limitation. Until you made a shift in your relationship dynamic that was unexpected, out of your typical role… and this has changed it all.
But change is good. This is you healing, expanding, taking up space. You’re allowed this. And you’re allowed people who support this.
Not everyone can come with you.. this isn’t personal, but damn I know it feels like it is. There will be a “noisy silence” and you’ll know, you’re stepping into the next chapter… it feels icky, weird even. But those who DO come along with you will believe in your worth as much as you’re learning to. What a gift this will be, keep going.