One of the misconceptions about gentle parenting is that it’s extremely passive. Meaning, the child is in charge. I hear often from readers that the idea of respecting a child is foreign. Most of us come from a childhood where we weren’t seen or heard, let alone respected— so it’s no wonder this is a hard concept to accept + practice.
I’ve noticed during this pandemic thing that my husband + I have slipped into one of two gears. Either passive (hey sweetie… do you want to come brush your teeth?) or aggressive (get over here + brush your teeth NOW!!!!) We discussed it the other night and our goal moving forward is to get back into assertive mode (it’s time to brush your teeth). This takes conscious awareness, confidence + clarity. Sometimes I don’t have the brain energy for it, but in the end it’s worth it, so I’m going to try.
Children thrive off assertive direction. They feel safe + free to be the child because they don’t have to carry the burden of being in charge. This is the root of gentle parenting. It isn’t explosive (!!!!) and it isn’t lax (???). It is straight forward, kind + clear (.) Yes, we may offer two options which have a question involved, but the end result is always the same (you can brush your teeth or I can help you, which do you choose?) Often a question like this gives children a sense of control + independence. They like that. And we still get the teeth clean. Win – win.
Tell me, which gear are you? Do you tend to be more passive? Aggressive? Or have you been practicing more assertiveness?
I’m going to share a bit more in my stories today. Post any questions you’d like addressed below and save this graphic if this is an area you are working on too. 👇🏼👇🏼 @consciousdiscipline
