The easiest way to distract from fixing your own life, is to try and fix someone else’s.
Distraction has been used for decades as a tool to manage pain. It modifies your perception of it— meaning when you’re attention is somewhere else, you can literally decrease the activation in your brain which contributes to how you perceive and interpret pain. Some distractions are helpful. However I like to think of them as pauses. These distractions don’t take you away from your pain, but they allow you some safe space and time to breathe and return to it later. We can’t heal all day. We can’t do this work non stop. You need rest and time away.
Being mindful and intentional about your distractions is key.
Many women meddle in other peoples lives, to distract from their own. What does this look like? Running to save, fix or manage the chaos and problems others are dealing with. Here, you constantly put your own priorities and responsibilities on the back burner. You push through your own discomfort. You avoid dealing. And this cycle is addictive. How? What starts off as simply helping someone through a rough patch slowly evolves into WHO you become. Your identity is rooted in being the caretaker. You literally forget who you are without this role. But it doesn’t have to stay this way.
We have to learn to spot the difference between taking a pause and living distracted. Ask yourself, is this allowing me time to recharge, reflect and return later with more clarity? Am I helping someone out with a difficulty or am I numbing from my own pain? In what ways am I distracting myself from things I need to face head on?
It’s never too late to begin dealing with your own stuff. As I always say, deal with it or it will come back later to deal with you (in reeeeally inconvenient ways).