I’ve been very open about my struggle with addiction in the past. However the further I’ve gotten away from numbing, the more I’ve realized that my problem was actually anxiety. I’d have bouts of debilitating panic attacks which led to sleepless nights, shingles outbreaks, migraines + of course using to withdrawal + isolate from people + my reality. On the flip side, I have struggled with the opposite. I have over performed, people pleased + had zero boundaries to manage my anxiety. In both ways, I lost my self. I was either out of gas, or running on all cylinders. It was exhausting.
Anxiety has become so common that I believe people are more willing to live with it then they are willing to heal from it. Maybe this mainstream thinking is why so many have decided to continue on numbing, running or managing in in these ways that I’ve mentioned, because having a life without it all seems just too impossible.
I’ve come a long way from battling my anxiety. I still notice it, especially during times when I begin to teeter towards losing myself in whatever capacity. But I know I have tools that I can turn to now, ones that don’t add to the anxiety, but help alleviate it in ways that add to my esteem, my authenticity, my soul. Things that seem so obvious they are often overlooked: nutritious foods, water, Breathwork, movement, seeing a friend, prayer + journaling. I almost always acknowledge my anxiety now as a warning that says “hey, here’s your wake up call, it’s time to tune in… what do I need?” This awareness + work is always an inside job, one that no one else can do but you. 🤍🤍
