Hi friend, do you sometimes still feel that setting a boundary is unloving? Or wouldn’t it be nice if someone else just came in and managed your boundary practice for you?
This work can be sticky, confusing and even overwhelming sometimes, especially if it is new to you. But hang in there, it won’t feel that way forever. Soon, your relationships will flourish from this practice.
Look for these signs to determine if you need to set a kind and clear limit.
You find you are irritated or annoyed around that person.
You believe they try to “use” or take advantage of you.
You notice that after spending time together with them, your energy is depleted.
You identify as the “giver” in the relationship, and they are considered the “taker.”
You accommodate what they need, and then get angry at them for it.
We tend to believe that boundaries are unloving. But, being clear about your limitations and what you are able to accommodate or manage within your relationships is the only way to ensure you aren’t growing resentful, exhausted and angry.
Remember, if someone isn’t happy with your boundary, it usually means they were benefitting in some way by you not having one.