I wrote this last December, so here’s your mid year reminder:
I never knew about this “crabs in a bucket” analogy until a few years ago when I opened up to a good friend about some close people who seemed unhappy with my progress in sobriety, school, marriage + just life in general. At times I even felt like they wanted to sabotage it all if they could. It really had me shook up + confused.
She said it’s like watching crabs in a bucket. Once you’ve lived in the bucket for so long + try to get out, one crab will get on your back, then another, then another, and that’s how they all live. Stuck in a damn bucket. Forever pulling each other down + getting no where.
From that moment on, I realized I didn’t belong in a bucket. None of us do, really. But only a few of us are willing + able to do the hard, messy work to claw our way out. It’s not easy choosing to no longer manage your crabs. It’s not easy putting down what’s not yours to carry. It’s not easy going another way, without guilt. It’s not easy breaking free from the old way things have always been done. It’s not easy challenging the notion that loyalty means staying put. But you were NEVER meant to live in that bucket; catering to the feelings + opinions of the crabs who are comfortable living there forever + staying small.
This doesn’t mean you don’t love those crabs. It just means you’ve finally realized you’re allowed to climb out + take a chance on a new, different future. And just maybe you’ll remind a few crabs of what’s possible for them too. 🦀
